I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
