she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
