even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
