Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
