I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
