I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
