Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
