I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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