We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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