What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
