Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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