i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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