the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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