yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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