I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
