i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
