Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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