Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
