i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
