She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
