I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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