Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We are all done wearing pants today
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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