Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I could fuck to npr.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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