scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
