$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
