U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
