We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
