Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
