Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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