I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
