..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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