Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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