smell my finger.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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