I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
