i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
