...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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