He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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