Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
