My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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