No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
