Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
