Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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