There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
