I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
