If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
