If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
