The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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