I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
