Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
