you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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