are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
pop tarts are not kleenex
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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