Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Randomize
