i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
