Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
