No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
